This article is copy-pasted (pages112-122) from the book:
Palaniappan, V.M. (2007). Sex Problems: Causes, Cure and Prevention.
224 pages. ISBN 978-967-9988-11-6.
(Available from Neo Health Care / Mobipocket.com as e-book)
Aphrodisiacs, Mood Setters
& Momentary Sex Enhancers
I could observe only a few women who were consuming alcoholic drinks. These persons tend to sleep away after consuming one drink, rather than getting sexually aroused.
Since I could not collect adequate data from among my patients, I have conveniently omitted the study on the effect of alcoholic drinks on people.
A few unmarried singles, and some of those who commit adultery tend to get very much excited before indulging in sex. However, they may not enjoy the real pleasure of a sexual union for fear of (a) getting caught, (b) other implications that could arise out of illegal relationships, and (c) inheriting communicable diseases such as VDs and AIDS. Since we are not interested much in the welfare of this people, further elaboration along these lines are not pursued any further in this chapter.
An important fact that should be remembered at all times is that if the so-called Momentary Sex Enhancers, including the Mood Setters are consumed / practised on a daily basis, then, the cumulative effect will turn out to be Sex Suppressers, rather than promoters. This follows the rule that anything in excess will be harmful.
While describing the factors that enhance sex potentials in people, we cannot overlook the psychological aspects of the subject matter. Mind-setting plays a major part in all sex related activities. I have, therefore, included here all possible factors that struck my mind while writing this book. Many of these are based on my personal experience, while some of them are derived from my observations of other people. These do not have any statistical basis.
Enhancer-I: Privacy in a Dim-lit and Cool Environment
Married couples living in most of the tropical countries do not even hug or kiss in public, and they keep such sex-related activities very private. A total privacy is very much conducive for sexual union. Further, many married couples, except perhaps for the first year of their marriage, may not prefer to conjugate during bright daytime. By night, they prefer to dim their bedroom light. The togetherness becomes much enjoyable and enhanced if the environment happens to be cool, dark, well-ventilated and private.
Enhancer-2: Mood Music
Mood music, preferably instrumental, set at low decibels would create a desirable environment for both the partners. Its operational system should not require frequent attention of the couple.
Enhancer-3: Clothing and Perfumes
None of the couple should wear clothes that are cumbersome to remove. They should be light, nicely tailored, and attractive, without emitting any fabric odour.
Wives wearing mild perfumes and husbands using equally mild after-shave lotion or cologne would very much enhance sexual approaches.
Indian women often have a habit of wearing natural flowers such as jasmine, rose, marikolunthu, and the like that emit mild fragrance. Such natural scents are bound to ‘knock out’* their husbands completely.
(* Until about 1960 or so, unmarried virgins in the southern state of Tamil Nadu were not allowed by their mothers to wear perfumes. This was so because, if a boy (or even a married man, irrespective of his age and social standing) happens to come any closer to a girl wearing perfumes, he could lose his self-control, may woo the girl somehow, and may ‘spoil’ her. Once a girl loses her virginity, her entire future would get ruined, for no other man would marry her. I have observed several instances where men have ‘spoiled’ their sister-in-laws this way, and have ended up taking them as their second wives. This practice was common among the Tamils until about 1960 or so, as said earlier. Since my knowledge is limited, I am not personally aware of the possible existence of such a culture among the people of other geographical locations.
Generally, men almost instantly lose themselves to perfume wearing girls. Teenage boys and young men appear to be psychologically obsessed with the thought that all beautiful girls naturally emit rose fragrance from their body. I personally believed this for a very long time.
On the other hand, even teenage boys ‘run away’ from beautiful girls, if they happen to emit bad odour (especially due to flatulence – the foul-smelling gas that is uncontrollably released due to constipation.
While the above is true, some men appear to like the sweat odour that is emitted by girls who under-urinate. Body odour is often called a Secondary Sex Character. The cult of the 1960s, as per their policy, would never take a shower/bath, and would remain retaining their ‘natural’ body odour, claiming that they liked it best this way. This kind of behaviour appears to exist among several animal species as well. Dogs and cats are good examples of this.
If the body odour happens to be strong and pungent, it becomes quite repulsive and nauseating. It will be especially so if the girl (or man, at times) happens to be wearing perfume on a hot day.
Anyway, all under-urinating men and women will be emitting the body odour, and its intensity may differ from person to person. Lesser water consumption and reduced urination would make the smell more odorous.)
One important point that should be remembered is related to the obese people. Over-weighing men and women normally hate scents and perfumes, even if they are mild**. Obese women hate to wear flowers that have fragrances.
( ** My friend, an obese male, a day after his nuptial night, told me some of the details that happened in the bedroom the previous night. It seems his bride, who happened to be a thin girl, came into the bedroom wearing plenty of jasmine flowers around her hairdo. Since my friend could not stand the very smell of it, he requested her to get out of the room instantly, remove all her flowers, and come back for being together. She did accordingly, and she never wore flowers from then on. What a pity!
If the instructions given in my book on Obesity (1998) are followed strictly, within five weeks, an obese person can gain good health and a good likeness for perfumes).
Therefore, if one spouse happens to be an obese person, the other partner should avoid wearing perfumes altogether. Only the thin and the mediocre-built persons enjoy the emissions of fragrances.
If both the spouses are thin, then, the wife could burn a mildly scented joss stick, and keep the windows open. Burning too many sticks will only poison the couple. Burning of incense within the bedroom (which in reality is a poison) that would release abundant smoke should be avoided altogether.
Enhancer-4: The Thought of Being Clean & A Joint Shower
The thought of being ‘dirty’ or ‘unclean’ would put off the other partner. Cleanliness is of prime importance for the couple to be together. In the tropical countries, it becomes imperative for both the partners to take a shower before getting together.
I have found from my inquiries that, in most families, the women appear to be somewhat lazy to take a shower in the late evenings. They prefer to go for a wash of only some parts of their body. Many men, for that matter, feel lazy to wash even their limbs. This practice will not be conducive for proper and complete indulgence in the sex act.
Men and women, whose nature of work involves getting their physique ‘dirty’, sweaty and smelly, should certainly make it a point to take a good shower, using a mild soap, even if they do not wish to have any sexual relations.
The very thought of being closer to a spouse whose body is physically clean would make the other very romantic.
A shower taken using lukewarm water by itself will give some kind of aphrodisiac effect. It gets further enhanced if he/she does the ‘Body Rubbing Exercise’*** while taking the shower.
(***The details of doing the Body Rubbing Exercise that would promote the lymph flow all over the body and thereby turn out to be an aphrodisiac may be seen in my book on obesity,1998).
If the husband and wife jointly take a shower, helping each other, the pleasures both of them derive cannot be described in words. If you have not done this so far, it is certainly worth giving a try.
Enhancer-5: Hairdo, Makeup, and a Well-shaved Face
No woman would want to sleep with her hairdo, which she did for her daytime movements, in tact. No husband would prefer to kiss his wife with her lipstick on. Heavy make-up made during the daytime too should be washed off before getting to bed. However, a wife must make sure that she looks at least reasonably attractive to the husband. She cannot take him for granted.
As for the husband, unless he grows a beard, he should make it a point to have a clean-shaved face. Often, wives do not prefer a face with whiskers. It would disturb and hurt them, and by that, put them off from being totally lost in coitus. Most of the wives do not prefer to hurt the feelings of their husbands by telling them their preferences in this respect. In such cases, a wife’s tolerance should not be taken for granted.
Enhancer-6: Fresh Milk
Drinking a glass of hot milk with sugar, about half an hour before bedtime, should help a man and his wife to a great extent. Being alkaline, the milk neutralises the acidity in the stomach, turns urine alkaline, prevents belching, and enhances the orgasmic pleasure.
Enhancer-7: Lime (Calcium hydroxide/ Quicklime/ Burnt lime)
This is called chunnambu in Tamil and Kapur in Bahasa Malaysia. Indians, Malays, and people in a few more countries in Asia use this in their day-to-day life in the following manner: They rub a little of this lime over a betel leaf, and chew it with some betel nuts. It gives the user some amount of ‘kick’ that is comparable to cigarette smoking or coffee drinking. Men and women in villages tend to chew thus several times daily.
If this is chewed (and subsequently eaten) only once after dinner, before bedtime, it stimulates both partners intensely, and also increases the intensity of their orgasmic pleasure*.
(*Among Indians, a plate containing betel leaves, areca nut and lime is kept in the bedroom of the newly wedded couples. The nuptial night is supposed to start only after (a) drinking a glass of cow’s milk provided there (husband and wife are to drink from the same glass – to create a sense of intoxication through the thoughts of love), and (b) both partners chewing the betel leaves. A container for spitting will not be provided, for they are expected to swallow it. This gives them a real, big boost. The aphrodisiac effect arising out of this practice cannot be described in words).
Some of the benefits this betel chewing gives include the following: (a) It removes bad breadth, mouth odour and the slimy texture of the tongue, (b) it has a capacity to help in the digestion of heavy meals eaten, (c) it builds up the immunity against virus in a person, (d) it compensates if there is calcium insufficiency in the body, (e) it neutralises hyperacidity in a person, and thus heals the burning sensation one may experience while urinating, and (f) turns the body mildly alkaline (‘cools’), which increases the orgasmic pleasure manifold.
Chewing this would turn the lips and tongue reddish, as if treated with lipsticks. The newer texture of the tongue and tenderness of the lips make mouth-to-mouth kissing immensely pleasurable.
Betel leaf chewing, if continued for several days at a stretch, can make the person addicted to it, similar to cigarette or alcohol addiction.
Chewing several times daily for a decade can give rise to mouth cancers, owing to the absorption and subsequent accumulation of excessive calcium. Such a chewing, if practiced occasionally, does not create any kind of addiction.
Even today, millions of men and women in the whole of India chew this on and off, just to enjoy the pleasurable benefits and taste this offers. Nowadays, a ready-to-chew betel leaf preparations called “Beeda” are sold at the cashier’s counter in most of the banana leaf restaurants. Often, a few of the first time users may get mild intoxications, and that would vanish in a minute or two. A few Indian restaurants in Malaysia and Singapore, and possibly in several other countries, sell this ready-made ‘beeda’ for the benefit of their customers.
As I have mentioned earlier, our body tends to lose the aphrodisiac effect if this is used on a daily basis. To keep up its effect, one could safely chew this, say, about twice a week. Adequate water consumption and regular urinations would remove the calcium excesses that could occur because of this practice.
Of late, more and more people who are getting westernised are giving up this culture, in the name of fashion. Yet, they go in search of synthetic chemical aphrodisiacs that may contain many adverse side effects.
Enhancer-8: High Density Food & Glucose
Lack of proper food as one of the causes for the suppression of sex potentials has already been described in elaborate detail earlier in this chapter. Some additional information related to sex enhancement is presented here.
If a person does not eat enough food, he/she would go energyless to do any work. Sexual performances require enormous amount of energy, which can be had only through eating plenty of food.
Low-density food items such as soft and overcooked rice, thin gravy, soup, vegetables, fruits, and juices would fill the stomach to its full capacity easily, but would provide only lesser energy. High-density foods such as ‘briyani’, mutton, chicken, fish, egg, and all animal meats tend to provide enormous amount of energy.
Eating a heavy diet consisting of such high-density items about 2 or 3 hours earlier than the mating time would form a best source of aphrodisiac that would tempt a person to have sex soon.
One should remember that overeating high density foods on a daily basis would make him/her obese, and that would only render adverse effects by inhibiting the sex desires of a person. His/her performances too would become much lessened.
Vegetarians like me will have no choice except for eating a little more of the low-density foods. Eating vegetables that are alkaline, such as cucumber, pumpkin etc. cooked with a lot of onions, salads smeared with lemon juice, soybean meal, and fruits such as apple, pears, banana, etc. would form very good sex enhancers.
Apart from the above, taking a glass of water wherein about 10 grams (about 2 teaspoons full) of glucose is dissolved, would also provide an easy source of instant energy for a better sex performance. Of course, one should remember not to make this a habit for, it can give rise to insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus type I, if taken excessively. Again, diabetics should not take glucose at all, unless a medical urgency warrants its consumption.
9. Other Miscellaneous Enhancers & Aphrodisiacs
(a) Unbent, straight body posture in men forms an attractive feature to girls, and vice versa is also true.
(b) Big and well formed breasts in women ‘knock out’ men at once*.
(* I have, through my research, found that girls/women who drink about 8 glasses of water (about 2 L) daily and urinate almost all of it through about 8 to 10 urinations, develop mediocre breasts. Those who drink 12 glasses (3 L) or more of water and urinate about 12 times or more will only have a flat-chest. All those who drink very little water (e.g. about 1 L or less) and urinate equally little through 2 or 3 urinations a day tend to develop huge breasts. These occur as a rule, and the quantity of food eaten would only enhance the relative sizes. Therefore, a woman with huge breasts is bound to emit strong and pungent sweat small all the time, whereas a female with a flat-chest would not emit any).
(c) Husband and wife standing face to face at a close proximity would create great interest in both of them. Tender embrace would enhance it further. Additional gentle touches by the husband would shift the wife’s mood into a pool of drowsiness.
(d) Any gift, however small it may be, given affectionately to a wife would form a good mood setter. (Even a tiny, lousy-looking flower plucked from a weed would do the job. Of course, it should be presented with some nice gesture).
(e) Meaningless sweet talks, lavish praises (can be flattery: e.g., that she looks like an angel), and gentle whispers (saying that your love for her is mountain-like, or you are terribly sorry for having hurt her feelings earlier in the day, or that the food she cooked was exceptionally delicious, or any such uttering would invariably ‘drown’ your wife in the ‘pool of love’, and she would do anything for you. (These exaggerations, even if they were deliberate lies, would not be considered sinful*).
(* The great poet Saint Thiruvalluvar (year 80 BC) says that “lies, if they are not going to hurt or harm any one, and if told for a good cause, should be acceptable”)
(f) Both the husband and wife should not talk about any sensitive issue in the bedroom. Better to avoid talking about relatives. Office matters should never be brought in at this moment. Equally important will be to refrain from talking about the illnesses the husband and the wife suffer. Miseries, poverty, shortcomings, gossips, etc. should not be recollected. Importantly, a spouse should avoid acting or talking anything that would reveal his/her stupidity. Most of the time, well-informed people cannot tolerate an exhibition of lesser intelligence.
(g) A husband should never talk about any other woman in bedroom. (Never praise other women. You can say that your wife looks like actress Aiswarya, but cannot say that Aiswarya looks like your wife). The wife should not even dream of saying that another man, known to both of them, looks more handsome or any better than her husband.
(h) Most of the men tend to develop some fantasies while actually involved in coitus. While being with the wife in total darkness, his imaginations could go wild to the extent of thinking that he is actually having fun with a favourite movie star or someone whom he fancies a great deal. Such fantasies may occur beyond the control of the husband. However, the most crucial point here is that he should never utter a word about his fantasy to his wife. If he did, that could ruin the entire night, or even the very marital relationship, at times.
(i) The wife can never ever say or even indicate to her husband that he is ‘short-lived’ in the act of sex. It is of great importance that every wife should understand and remember that ALL men are short-lived, as has been explained elsewhere in this book*
(* A man, aged 36, participated in one of my Group Therapy sessions held in Kuala Lumpur. His main problem was impotency, or what we now call erectile dysfunction. A week after graduation, he confessed to me, that he had sex with a call girl, and that he had regained his potency as before. However, whenever he attempted to have sex with his wife, he could not get any erection at all. On further inquiry, I traced that to be a psychological problem.
The couple were married for eight years, and had no children. At every occasion, the husband came off much sooner, without satisfying his wife. One night, in a bad mood, the wife shouted at him, hinting at his pre-mature ejaculation, “What kind of man are you? You don’t seem to be a man at all! Knowing this, why did you marry me? You have spoiled my entire life…” From then on, this gentleman had lost all his capacity for an erection. Even after the successful encounter with the call girl, he could not get any erection whenever he was with his wife. The irony is that they are still staying married, without any offspring.)
(j) Shapely body features such as being slim, with curved hip, better formed (but not huge) back, well-developed bosom, etc. are supposed to be very attractive aspects in a wife. No female should dismiss all these saying that these are God-given. The truth is, God gives all men and women only a beautiful body. As we grow up, we spoil it. The method for slimming down and shaping up the limbs, face, waist, etc. is given in my book on obesity (pages 398-400). A little extra effort would help to a great extent.
(k) Identical IQ (intelligent response) and spontaneity (thinking alike) tend to work as the topmost aphrodisiacs that would make both the spouses immensely happy and arouse their sexual behaviour.
The reverse too appears to be true. An exposure of stupidity on the part of any one of the spouses tends to ruin the togetherness. If the husband happens to exhibit stupidity, very often, the wife tolerates it. However, if such a behaviour comes from the wife, and if happens frequently, her husband tends to get irritated intensely. This would put him off for the night.
It may be of interest to repeat here what I have already described elsewhere about the prevalence of like-mindedness among married couples.
Only like-bodied spouses tend to have like-mindedness. In other words, an obese woman married to an obese man will have identical thinking.
Likewise, a thin woman married to a thin man also would have similar thinking. Their wavelengths would run along the same lines.
Couples with dissimilar body sizes would invariably have differences of opinion to highly significant extents. Abundant misunderstandings and petty quarrels tend to prevail in this kind of families.
More on this can be read in my book Your Sex Potentials: Causes, Cure and Prevention (Palaniappan, 2000).
The above article is written in good faith, with the idea of helping all adults / married people. If you feel this any offensive, kindly let me know, and I will delete this from the Blog, while at the same time, I will stop publishing this kind of artilces in future.
If desired, by early next week, I will present here very useful information on the Sex Suppressors.
Thank you for reading.
With best wishes,