Posts
MEN’S SHORTCOMINGS IN
SEX RELATIONS
(© 10 July, 2013: Dr.V.M.Palaniappan, Ph.D.)
It seems women have been seeking appointments
from the doctor on behalf of their husbands for getting their manhood problems
solved.
The Paper further described what the doctor
quoted from the statistics obtained by “Hard Poll” by pharmaceutical company
Pfizer Malaysia.
Accordingly, “more than 40% of Malaysian men,
including those in their 20s, suffered sexual dysfunction”.
************
Do you know why men ‘suffer’ this kind of,
so-called ‘Pre-mature Ejaculation’?
Do you also know that this problem has not
risen only in the recent past, but has been in existence since ‘time
immemorial’ – since thousands of years?
Kamasutra – the ancient Indian literature,
written by an Indian sage Vatsayana, some 1600 years ago, is still considered a
masterpiece in the area of sex.
I have a copy of this book, printed in early
20th century.
After conducting numerous laboratory
researches, they had found meaningful answers to several of the misunderstood
aspects.
I HAVE THE ANSWERS AS WHY MEN COME FASTER
THAN WOMEN, AND WHY WOMEN DO NOT GET THEIR SATISFACTION AT THE SAME TIME AS MEN.
I have taken the following from MY book “Sex
Problems: Causes, Cure and Prevention”, and am presenting here for the
benefit of those who cannot gain access to the printed hard copy of my book:
************
If you
are one of those who believe that even health aspects of sex should not be spoken or read,
then I would like to warn you at this stage: You may please stop reading this
matter, in this Blog, at this point.
On the other hand, if you are open enough to learn, please go ahead and read it, and you certainly stand to benefit by doing so.
The information contained in this has never been told by anyone, in any part of the world, in any language, and at any time.
It is completely new and original, and you will be enlightened on several hither-to unknown facts.
Please read:
Majority of the Malaysians still appear to be very conservative in their thinking on this subject.
Therefore, I have tried my best not to go overboard in any of my descriptions.
Let us see the case of a typical newly wedded couple, who had gathered a great deal of information about sex through reading, hearing from friends, or had seen through the Internet.
They have been looking forward to having sex with each other. They are now there in their bedroom to experience it for the first time.
They have it.
A few strokes, and the man comes first, for certain!
He is satisfied and contended, turns away exhausted, and falls sleep.
Prior to dosing off, he would of course ask his beloved wife, if she had enough of it, or if she too had come.
The above words do not mean anything to her.
She does not know if she had come, for she does not know what satisfaction really is.
(Since the time of her maturity, her body has been wanting to have sex and the associated ‘unknown’ satisfaction.
It has been an unexplainable longing.
Hence, she has been looking forward to recognising this mystery all these years.
The time has come, but the ‘thirst’ still remains unquenched.)
But she has to respond to her beloved husband.
She nods her head and confirms she had it and is happy.
This is the only source of information for the husband to ascertain that his wife is totally satisfied, or she too had ‘come’ as it happened in him.
The husband would ask the same question repeatedly all the time - throughout their marital life, even if it runs through for more than half a century.
The poor woman, even if she feels dissatisfied, keeps on repeating the same note of happiness, without attaching any meaning to it. It is a matter of routine for her.
She is often puzzled: why should her husband keep on asking her such a question?
She would not find an answer, but yet she would keep on giving affirmative answers all the time.
She may end up believing that all men are bound to ask a question of that kind to their respective wives, and the wives had to say yes for it.
To her it is probably a conveyance of love and affection, and nothing more than that!
However, what is the reality?
The wife never ever feels satisfied with the copulation.
At the end of every sex act, she feels something is wanting. She does not know what it is. All she feels is some kind of thirst and a sense of need.
She ends up getting the same kind of ‘want’ all the time.
This eventually becomes a frustration every time they are together, without fail.
It makes her believe that that is what sex is all about for a woman.
Is that the truth?
No, not at all!
When the husband gets exhausted after a few strokes, that is the time the wife gets excited.
That is the time she develops the need for more strokes.
She has just begun, has just warmed up.
However, unfortunately, it is at this ripe time, she is abandoned and left alone unattended.
What would she do now?
She tosses and turns a few times in bed, not knowing what to do.
Subsequently, by some intuition, she washes herself up with some cold water, which lessens her desire for more sex, and sleeps away.
The same story repeats every night they are together.
The frustration on the part of the woman stays.
Yet, out of love for her husband, she would yield to his requests for being together whenever he wants.
As time passes by, she finds it almost impossible to tolerate the inadequacy.
To her, getting together for sex means nothing more than getting aroused initially, left unsatisfied a quarter way through, and abandoned altogether at the end.
It feels as if she has been thrown in the mid- air.
No doubt she develops a desire for sex all the time.
After all, she is a normal human being.
However, the thought of being left dissatisfied half way through the act of sex starts haunting her.
Therefore, she starts shunning it as a nightmare rather than considering as a source for pleasure.
As time passes by, she would prefer not to have sex any more.
If the husband insists, she would offer herself to his pleasure, again just out of love she has for him, or pitying him after seeing him beg for sexual union.
At times, she is scared that her continued refusal may drive her husband to some other women.
Yet, she would prefer to keep away from the dreadful nights.
She would not want to hurt his feelings, nor make him feel less manly.
If dissatisfaction continues, a few years later, she would start giving excuses to the husband for rejecting sex.
One day, she would claim of having headaches; another day, of excessive domestic works or of tiresomeness.
The arrival of guests, cooking for guests, coming home late after an outing, looking after the children, too late to have sex that she has to get up early next morning, stomach aches, aching muscles, backaches, monthly periods, muscular cramps, and a whole lot of excuses become handy for her to avoid sex.
Apart from all these, most Hindu women tend to have an ‘unobjectionable excuse.’
They tend to claim that ‘that’ particular day the husband wishes to have sex happens to be a ‘holy day’, and that she has been practising ‘viradham’ (fasting), meaning thereby that any form of sex-oriented physical body contact is considered a taboo, and it would form a sinful act if violated.
All the above excuses are given because she finds ‘nothing’ in the act of sex. it is, after all, getting aroused and left unsatisfied.
For her, it would be better to keep off rather than get into the same kind of frustration.
If sincerely inquired, any wife would confirm this.
Almost every husband would get a shock of his life on the outcome of a totally frank conversation with his wife along these lines.
(With the exception of a few, which may number about 5% of the male population in USA and other developed countries, and about 2% in other parts of the world, whose wives get orgasms most of time they have sex together.
Such wives almost never refuse a mating call.
Often, these women who have ‘tasted’ it, would themselves tease their mates and woo them to bed. )
Well, enough has been said on the dissatisfaction of women’s experiences.
Now, let us analyse to recognise the reasons for such happenings.
Why does this occur among practically all the couples?
Does it mean that this is the norm for humans?
Does it occur only among the Asians, or tropical living people?
Is it the same with women of the temperate regions as well?
Let us examine more details along these lines to find a solution to overcome the problem.
We have an obligation to our wives.
There cannot be any excuse for evading it.
How to go about it?
Where lies the problem?
What could every husband do to satisfy his wife in the real sense of the word?
Prior to finding appropriate answers to all these questions, one need to know some basics about the body physiology of the females in relation to their sexual needs
.
This has a lot to do with the evolution of human kind, along he lines of Darwinism.
************
Dear Friends,
I will continue to present the next part in this series by tomorrow, if possible, and that will deal with:
THE SEXUAL NEEDS OF A FEMALE.
You – both men and women – should read it to enrich your life – you have to make your life worthwhile living.
If you have any comments, please send them to me, to my e-mail ID: vmpalani@streamyx.com
***************
I have finished with the running of Group Therapy (in English language) for Group No.295.
I am planning to conduct my NEXT Group Therapy No.296, in TAMIL language, after about a month or so.
Since I have time now to attend to other pending matters, I can afford to write more articles and post them in our BLOG from now on.
OK, friends,
Bye, until tomorrow.
Dr. Palani, Ph.D.
.
.
SEX RELATIONS
(© 10 July, 2013: Dr.V.M.Palaniappan, Ph.D.)
I read with great interest a ‘view’ in The
Star (Malaysia), Monday, 8 July 2013, p.30), that spoke of what Clinical
Andrologist Dr.Mohd. Ismail Mohd. Tambi has expressed in connection with male
sexual inadequacies.
It further said that “Even more shocking,
majority of them can perform for about a minute only”.
Those who wish to gather more information on this story may want to visit the following URL:
http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2013/07/08/Its-women-who-coax-men-to-seek-help-for-manhood-problems.aspx
Those who wish to gather more information on this story may want to visit the following URL:
http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2013/07/08/Its-women-who-coax-men-to-seek-help-for-manhood-problems.aspx
Sir Richard Burton and F.F.Arbuthnot
translated the above work into English language, and this was published as a
Panther edition in 1963.
These authors have also recorded few other
popular works in this area. They include:
1.
Sage
Kukkoka's Rathirahasya, otherwise called Kukkoka Sasthra (Secrets of Love).
2.
Jyotirisha's Panchasakya (Five Arrows).
3.
Gunakara Vechapati's Smara Pradipa (Light of Love).
4.
Jayadeva's Rathimanjari (Garland of Love).
5.
Bhanudatta's Rasmanjari (Sprout of Love).
6.
Kullianmull's Anunga
Runga or Kamaledhiplava (Stage of Love or Boat in the Ocean of
Love).
7.
The
last in this series was written some 500 years ago
***********
William H. Masters & Virginia E. Johnson
(1966) have provided very useful information based on their researches
done in the area of sex.
Yet, in my opinion, there are many more important
aspects of sex that have been left unanswered until my publication on this
subject.
I undertook an intensive study in this area,
and brought out a book entitled, “Sex Problems: Causes, Cure and
Prevention” (Palaniappan, V.M., 2007).
This book has the answers to the question
that has been disturbing all men folks not only in Malaysia, but in ALL other
parts of the world.
This article does NOT have anything that can be called 'dirty' or pornographic in nature. In spite of it,
On the other hand, if you are open enough to learn, please go ahead and read it, and you certainly stand to benefit by doing so.
The information contained in this has never been told by anyone, in any part of the world, in any language, and at any time.
It is completely new and original, and you will be enlightened on several hither-to unknown facts.
Please read:
Majority of the Malaysians still appear to be very conservative in their thinking on this subject.
Therefore, I have tried my best not to go overboard in any of my descriptions.
Let us see the case of a typical newly wedded couple, who had gathered a great deal of information about sex through reading, hearing from friends, or had seen through the Internet.
They have been looking forward to having sex with each other. They are now there in their bedroom to experience it for the first time.
They have it.
A few strokes, and the man comes first, for certain!
He is satisfied and contended, turns away exhausted, and falls sleep.
Prior to dosing off, he would of course ask his beloved wife, if she had enough of it, or if she too had come.
The above words do not mean anything to her.
She does not know if she had come, for she does not know what satisfaction really is.
(Since the time of her maturity, her body has been wanting to have sex and the associated ‘unknown’ satisfaction.
It has been an unexplainable longing.
Hence, she has been looking forward to recognising this mystery all these years.
The time has come, but the ‘thirst’ still remains unquenched.)
But she has to respond to her beloved husband.
She nods her head and confirms she had it and is happy.
This is the only source of information for the husband to ascertain that his wife is totally satisfied, or she too had ‘come’ as it happened in him.
The husband would ask the same question repeatedly all the time - throughout their marital life, even if it runs through for more than half a century.
The poor woman, even if she feels dissatisfied, keeps on repeating the same note of happiness, without attaching any meaning to it. It is a matter of routine for her.
She is often puzzled: why should her husband keep on asking her such a question?
She would not find an answer, but yet she would keep on giving affirmative answers all the time.
She may end up believing that all men are bound to ask a question of that kind to their respective wives, and the wives had to say yes for it.
To her it is probably a conveyance of love and affection, and nothing more than that!
However, what is the reality?
The wife never ever feels satisfied with the copulation.
At the end of every sex act, she feels something is wanting. She does not know what it is. All she feels is some kind of thirst and a sense of need.
She ends up getting the same kind of ‘want’ all the time.
This eventually becomes a frustration every time they are together, without fail.
It makes her believe that that is what sex is all about for a woman.
Is that the truth?
No, not at all!
When the husband gets exhausted after a few strokes, that is the time the wife gets excited.
That is the time she develops the need for more strokes.
She has just begun, has just warmed up.
However, unfortunately, it is at this ripe time, she is abandoned and left alone unattended.
What would she do now?
She tosses and turns a few times in bed, not knowing what to do.
Subsequently, by some intuition, she washes herself up with some cold water, which lessens her desire for more sex, and sleeps away.
The same story repeats every night they are together.
The frustration on the part of the woman stays.
Yet, out of love for her husband, she would yield to his requests for being together whenever he wants.
(By this time, she has come to believe that sexual
union contributes nothing to the woman, but a great
deal to the man, and that, a woman has been created as a tool just to provide
the man the required satisfaction. A woman can never have the ‘so-called’ full
satisfaction.)
As time passes by, she finds it almost impossible to tolerate the inadequacy.
To her, getting together for sex means nothing more than getting aroused initially, left unsatisfied a quarter way through, and abandoned altogether at the end.
It feels as if she has been thrown in the mid- air.
No doubt she develops a desire for sex all the time.
After all, she is a normal human being.
However, the thought of being left dissatisfied half way through the act of sex starts haunting her.
Therefore, she starts shunning it as a nightmare rather than considering as a source for pleasure.
As time passes by, she would prefer not to have sex any more.
If the husband insists, she would offer herself to his pleasure, again just out of love she has for him, or pitying him after seeing him beg for sexual union.
At times, she is scared that her continued refusal may drive her husband to some other women.
Yet, she would prefer to keep away from the dreadful nights.
If a wife
has accidentally understood what the real satisfaction is,
(Some women, as they age, may be in their forties, tend to experience orgasms without any special effort of any kind. This could be due to a relaxed and tension-free state they may develop after being together for a decade or two).
she would not speak of it because of her fine quality of not making the husband feel inadequate.
(Some women, as they age, may be in their forties, tend to experience orgasms without any special effort of any kind. This could be due to a relaxed and tension-free state they may develop after being together for a decade or two).
she would not speak of it because of her fine quality of not making the husband feel inadequate.
She would not want to hurt his feelings, nor make him feel less manly.
If dissatisfaction continues, a few years later, she would start giving excuses to the husband for rejecting sex.
One day, she would claim of having headaches; another day, of excessive domestic works or of tiresomeness.
The arrival of guests, cooking for guests, coming home late after an outing, looking after the children, too late to have sex that she has to get up early next morning, stomach aches, aching muscles, backaches, monthly periods, muscular cramps, and a whole lot of excuses become handy for her to avoid sex.
Apart from all these, most Hindu women tend to have an ‘unobjectionable excuse.’
They tend to claim that ‘that’ particular day the husband wishes to have sex happens to be a ‘holy day’, and that she has been practising ‘viradham’ (fasting), meaning thereby that any form of sex-oriented physical body contact is considered a taboo, and it would form a sinful act if violated.
(It is customary, and is culture-oriented among Hindu
women (as well as men) to take a shower (through the head) after having a
sexual union.
Wetting head while taking a shower tends to be a
day-to-day and simple activity for men.
But, such a head bath for longhaired women often forms
quite a cumbersome task.
Drying, combing, etc. can be tedious, tiring, and a
time consuming ritual-like procedure.
The
lifestyle of
most Kerala / Malayalee women is such that they wash their hair daily.
Generally, other longhaired Indian women tend to wash their hair about twice a
week.
In this group of women, involvement in daily sex
activity that
does not give them any reward is bound to be felt as an unnecessary nuisance.
Hence, they prefer to avoid it as far as possible.)
All the above excuses are given because she finds ‘nothing’ in the act of sex. it is, after all, getting aroused and left unsatisfied.
For her, it would be better to keep off rather than get into the same kind of frustration.
If sincerely inquired, any wife would confirm this.
Almost every husband would get a shock of his life on the outcome of a totally frank conversation with his wife along these lines.
(With the exception of a few, which may number about 5% of the male population in USA and other developed countries, and about 2% in other parts of the world, whose wives get orgasms most of time they have sex together.
Such wives almost never refuse a mating call.
Often, these women who have ‘tasted’ it, would themselves tease their mates and woo them to bed. )
Well, enough has been said on the dissatisfaction of women’s experiences.
Now, let us analyse to recognise the reasons for such happenings.
Why does this occur among practically all the couples?
Does it mean that this is the norm for humans?
Does it occur only among the Asians, or tropical living people?
Is it the same with women of the temperate regions as well?
Let us examine more details along these lines to find a solution to overcome the problem.
We have an obligation to our wives.
There cannot be any excuse for evading it.
How to go about it?
Where lies the problem?
What could every husband do to satisfy his wife in the real sense of the word?
Prior to finding appropriate answers to all these questions, one need to know some basics about the body physiology of the females in relation to their sexual needs
.
This has a lot to do with the evolution of human kind, along he lines of Darwinism.
************
Dear Friends,
I will continue to present the next part in this series by tomorrow, if possible, and that will deal with:
THE SEXUAL NEEDS OF A FEMALE.
You – both men and women – should read it to enrich your life – you have to make your life worthwhile living.
If you have any comments, please send them to me, to my e-mail ID: vmpalani@streamyx.com
***************
I have finished with the running of Group Therapy (in English language) for Group No.295.
I am planning to conduct my NEXT Group Therapy No.296, in TAMIL language, after about a month or so.
Since I have time now to attend to other pending matters, I can afford to write more articles and post them in our BLOG from now on.
OK, friends,
Bye, until tomorrow.
Dr. Palani, Ph.D.
.
.
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