Dr.V.M.Palaniappan, Ph.D.

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With best wishes and thanks,
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Ecological Healing System

ALL THE TIME: Popular Posts

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

WHAT HAPPENS IF AN OBESE MARRIES A THIN PERSON ?


WHAT HAPPENS IF AN OBESE MARRIES A THIN PERSON ?
(© 2000m, 2008, 2013: Dr.V.M.Palaniappan, Ph.D.)

 (The effects of all possible combinations have been discussed much elaborately in my book entitled “Sex Potentials: Causes, Cure and Prevention”, 2000).

Let us consider an OBESE MALE marrying a THIN FEMALE.

He will be lazy and lethargic, and will have less desire for sex and related activities.

The thin female will be hypersexed*.

(* A few years ago, one Indian woman rang up to me for my help.

She was married a year before to an obese man, working in an office in Kuala Lumpur.

It seems her husband has been accusing her of being over-sexed, saying that if he feels satisfied with having sex once a week, she must also feel the same.

Since she has been wanting it more often, he has been suspecting of excessive hormone secretion in her body, and that he wanted to take her to a lady doctor.

She was seeking my help to solve the problem.

 Since I made it a policy not to see a woman all by herself, I suggested that she should come over to the clinic with her husband. 
She never came.) 

However, most of the time, her female instinct would inhibit her desires, and may not demand sexual union from her spouse.

As a result, she would suffer in silence, being unable to fulfil her bodily requirements.

The obese husband in his mid-forties may completely stop having sexual relationships with his wife.

The worse thing in this combination happens in the later years of the marital life.

The thin wife would continue to have her hyper sex potentials and strong desires into her fifties.

It would end up being an unfortunate situation for such a wife.

If an OBESE FEMALE is married to a THIN MALE, the story would be somewhat different.

He will be hypersexed, and uninhibited.

Whereas she would not be interested in any of the sex-related activities.

He would approach her for frequent sex, and would keep on teasing her even in the daytime*.

(* A few years back, I read in a local newspaper that a wife filed a court case for a divorce from her husband, for he was hypersexed, and was ‘disturbing’ her ‘all the time’. 
I could now guess that the woman in this case must have been an OBESE person, and her husband, a thin one. This is a clear-cut example of a mismatch)
 
Being a wife, and being unable to refuse due to marital bondage, she would feel obliged to accommodate him.

However, she would only take his teasing and fondling activities as nuisance.

Since the thin persons are of explorative nature, he would probably give her often the much-adored orgasm, which will be labour-intensive and difficult.

However, early menopause owing to her obesity status, would make her worse than before in her sexual desires and involvements.

In such cases, the thin men, in their middle age, tend to go after, or long for other women to fulfil their sexual needs.

*********
Let us consider the case of an OBESE MAN marrying an OBESE woman.

Both of them will have like-minded desires.

In other words, both will be lazy, have lesser desires for sex, and will refrain from teasing and fondling.

They will have no problem of ‘suffering in silence’.

However, there is greater probability of both of them being sterile – they may not have any children.

 When such persons get married, and when they come to me for consultation, I often advocate them to have children while they are still in their twenties, or as soon as possible, before the little fertility they have vanishes.

*******
A different situation occurs when a THIN MALE marries a THIN female.

Both will be hypersexed.

They keep ‘busy’ almost non-stop.
.
They do not care whether it is daytime or night.

They keep on teasing each other, and keep on fondling as well.

They have sex relations well into their sixties.

These people have the potential to have a larger number of children, for both of them will be very fertile until they are really old.

She would get her menopause only in her 60 or so.
Childbirth in her case will be mostly uncomplicated.

*******
On understanding the above, one should be more cautious in choosing a life partner, for the sex relationship is very vital in deciding the fate of marriages.

Does it mean that arranged marriage is better than a love marriage?

The following analysis will provide a meaningful answer to this question that is being argued all the time:

The most suitable mode for choosing a life partner:

I am in favour of love marriage.

Most of the people appear to misunderstand the true meaning of the word love.

An inexperienced young boy, in his early teens, keeps dreaming about girls, sex, and all related activities.

He sees a girl with an attractive body, face, and well-formed breasts, and almost instantly, he develops a strong desire to ‘posses’ her*.

He calls it love.

In this case, it is ‘love at first sight’.

(*  I was 14 in 1952, and was school-going in Taiping, Perak.

Then I was spending practically all the free time I had, in dreaming about a girl with ‘huge’ breasts, who lived in the next block.

I could now recollect that she must have been about 18 years of age, looked ugly, shabby and unclean.

 She was uneducated, and was living in a dirty environment. Her parents were very poor.

Yet, I liked her immensely, and all my wild imaginations centred only around her well-developed breasts.

If I had an opportunity at that time, and if age and other factors did not prevent, I would have perhaps married her. (People would have said it “Love is Blind”).

Coming to think of it now, I could not even imagine of such a marriage with her.

Such strong fascinations appear to occur in young adults.

If you were my parents, would you have allowed such a marriage?

What would you call this?

An infatuation? 

At that time, I would not have accepted your rejection, for I was in ‘deep-love’ with her.

I would have chosen to ‘run away’ (elope) with her, or could have even committed suicide to prove my ‘divine love’ for her! 

How awful could that be?!)

******
Another man, with a strong desire to get married, keeps looking for a ’suitable’ girl.

He does not seem to get one for a long period.
 
All the girls he had met have been shunning him.
 
After a while, he meets one in a party.
 
She is not his ‘dream girl’.
 
However, he cannot afford to miss this opportunity.
 
So, he decides to go for her, and expresses to her his ‘love’.
 
She agrees, and they get married.
 
This too is called a ‘love marriage’.

********
A boy meets a girl, who is daughter of a rich man.
 
If he marries her, it would become a short-cut to raise his social standing through her father’s riches.

 So, he woos her, wins her acceptance, and they get married.
 
This again is a love marriage.

******
A girl sees a man who is very handsome.
 
She falls in love with him, and they get married.
 
*****
Another girl ‘falls in love’ with a man who is a great singer.
 
His voice is very sweet, and that it makes her forget the entire world.
 
Hundreds of girls in any auditorium attending his music programme would scream at him expressing ‘love’ for him, with ‘flying kisses.’
 
Our girl here, somehow arranges to meet him, expresses her ‘love’, and gets married to him.

*******
Likewise, a great winner at all cricket games, a champion at world level in playing chess, an eloquent orator on platforms, a great story teller*, a movie star, or a girl crowned as Miss Universe are persons much attracted to people of the opposite sex.
 
Those who succeed in getting married to these people, happily give press interviews, and call theirs as ‘love marriage.’ 
 
In time to come, many of these end up in divorces.
 
(While working as a full-time broadcasting assistant in Radio Malaysia in the 1960’s, I used to narrate stories (my own creations) for children in Tamil language, under the name “Palani Mama”.
 
I had told 982 stories during a period of 23 years, and was extremely popular among the Indian listeners all over Malaysia (except that I am not recognised on par with some of the celebrities, such as Tan Sri P. Ramli). 
 
I was not a handsome person to attract a girl to fall in love with me at first sight.
 
Further, I was already married (Sad! Sad!!).
Yet, I had numerous admirers expressing their ‘deep and divine’ love for me.
 
I could have had numerous wives, loving all of them ‘most sincerely’!?)
 
***********
I would never agree that these are love marriages.
 
A true love-marriage should never fail.
 
Two persons of the opposite sex somehow and somewhere meet for the first time.
 
With instantaneous attraction, or without it, they continue moving with each other for some time.
 
They get to know each other’s thinking, attitudes towards life, mannerisms, good and bad habits, likes and dislikes, choice of foods, their talents, their work and work ethics, their educational and financial backgrounds, and several other aspects of lifestyles.

They do this not with the intention of ‘choosing’ a life partner.
 
It just happens in the process of continued ‘friendship’.
 
Physical and external beauty does not play any important role here.
 
We know well that two clocks never run the same.
 
Likewise, no two humans can be identically perfect. In this case, both the girl and the young man get to know each other’s shortcomings and inadequacies.
 
They accept them, accommodate them, giving priority to most of the ‘good’ each one possesses.
 
In the process, a strong attraction develops at mental level between the two, and that is the ‘true love’.
 
They then get married.
 
Such marriages almost never get divorced.
 
Children born to them would make ideal and loving offspring*.
 
(*Children born to LOVELESS couples will not have any love for their FATHER, when they grow up).

 If the wife thus married falls sick with an incurable disease almost immediately after marriage, the husband does not abandon the spouse, and does not go after another woman.
 
The same will be true for the wife as well. This is what I call true love*.
 
(*  In a small township called Tanjong Malim in Malaysia, there was a gentleman, school teacher by profession, who brought to me his cancer-stricken girl friend who was much closer to death, to see if I can help her in anyway.
 
All Oncologists who attended on her have given up, and she was expected to live only a week or two.
 
She was intensely suffering from the agony created by chemotherapy and radiations that were given to her earlier.
 
All I could do was to help her to eat food at ease, get rid of the pain, sleep well without tranquillisers, and prolong her life by another three months.
 
Her boyfriend – whom I would call a true lover, instantly married her while she was still in sickbed, amidst their relatives and close friends.
 
The girl subsequently died after three months.
 
The gentleman rang up to inform me of her peaceful death. He was very thankful.
 
I praised him for the devoted love he had for his girlfriend.
 
I am sure many of you must have encountered true love of this kind, although they tend to be rare events.)
 
A marriage between a female secretary and her male boss in an office, after working together for several years will well fit in to this category of true love.
 
Here, the boss could be double the age or even more than the secretary.
 
The age here does not count, for their love centres around the ‘hearts’ and ‘minds’ of these two partners.
 
Marriages between classmates are bound to be based on true love, for they take a few years to get to know each other well, before deciding to get married.
 
If this definition is properly understood, the so-called ‘love at first sight’ will have no value at all.
 
In real terms, it will form only marriages based on attractions, otherwise we call it ‘infatuation.’ 
 
The latter kind of marriages does not last long.
 
Once the attraction is lost, the artificially self-induced imagination called ‘love’ disappears, leaving behind frustrations and unsolvable differences of opinions.  
 
A loveless person will be selfish all the time.
 
One with true love will sacrifice limitlessly for the well-being of the partner.
 
Therefore, once the attraction over which the infatuation developed at the pre-marital stage disappears, the couple starts quarrelling with each other, find fault and blame the other party all the time, and even petty matters will be felt as unsolvable big mistakes.

 This will naturally lead them towards separation through legal procedures.
 
An attractive body of even the Miss Universe will become unattractive once the person ages.

The riches may vanish due to some misfortune.

A great cricketer will have to retire one day.

A chess champion may lose his number one status to someone else better than him.

A great singer may get his/her voice lost in due course.

 An actor/ actress  may get totally abandoned by the movie makers and the public, a while later.
 
Such changes are inevitable.
 
Unfortunately, the feeling of love, if based only on such attractions, will naturally disappear.
 
One can claim the following:
 
A couple may get married based on the external attractions.
 
Subsequently, they develop true love for each other, and develop a capacity to accept the shortcomings each other may have.
In such cases, they will continue to live happily as married couple forever.
 
Divorces will have no place here. They would reproduce like-minded children.
 
If a couple can develop true love after marriage, then, what difference is there between this kind of ‘love at first sight’ marriages, and the other arranged marriages?
 
In arranged marriages, the parents, with their maturity of thinking, evaluate pros and cons of the persons to be married, and then arrange for them to get married.
 
In this case, the hither-to unacquainted individuals could develop true love after marriage, in a way identical to those who do so based on ‘love at first sight’. 
 
But, this will be a lasting bondage.
 
But then, it is common knowledge that some of the arranged marriages also end up in divorces.
 
Why should this be so?
 
This happens because, many parents tend to give priority to social, educational and financial security of the boys, and beauty of the girl, rather than giving importance to evaluating the upbringing and like-mindedness of the couple.
 
Since long, this is being done in most of the Asian communities through verbal enquiries from relatives and friends.
 
Now-a-days, since the cities are becoming too big to make such enquiries, there is ample room for mistakes.
 
In my book entitled “Health Problems: Diagnose Yourself”, I have statistically analysed the characteristics of people to a great degree of accuracy.
 
If referred, the information may not go wrong.
 
In Nature, irrespective of geographical locations, ethnic origin, family status, educational background, etc., ALL PEOPLE WITH THIN BODY FRAME APPEAR TO HAVE IDENTICAL PHYSICAL AND MENTAL CHARACTERISTICS.
 
Their lifestyles, food habits, likes and dislikes, etc. are often alike.
 
SO, IF TWO THIN PERSONS GET MARRIED, SINCE THE DIFFERENCES OF OPINIONS WILL BE MINIMAL, THEY TEND TO REMAIN HAPPILY MARRIED*.
 
(*  Some may want to argue, simply for the sake of winning, that:
(a) two like poles repel, and two opposite poles are attracted towards each other, and
(b) the couple, with no differences of opinion,
may get bored in due course, and therefore, it may not be a good idea for like-minded people to get married.
 
Repulsion between like-poles is true of magnetism.
 
We are no inhumane – we are people with sophisticated thinking potentials, and are not manoeuvred by physical forces alone.
 
A conflict and a constant disagreement would only end up in hatredness, followed by divorces, for want of peace of mind. 
 
Again, in marital life, unlike a platform for debate, it is living together amicably, understanding each other, exhibiting love, affection and sacrifices, and not establishing as who is the winner.
 
Among like-minded people, love would flourish, and would never ever lead to separations.
 
Therefore, any argument claiming boredom in marriages between like-minded couple cannot be considered correct.)
 
The same is true when it comes to obese persons.

Let us consider an OBESE MALE marrying a THIN FEMALE.
 
He will be lazy and lethargic, and will have less desire for sex and related activities.
The thin female will be hypersexed*.

(* A few years ago, one Indian woman rang up to me for my help.

She was married a year before to an obese man, working in an office in Kuala Lumpur.

It seems her husband has been accusing her of being over-sexed, saying that if he feels satisfied with having sex once a week, she must also feel the same.

Since she has been wanting it more often, he has been suspecting of excessive hormone secretion in her body, and that he wanted to take her to a lady doctor.

She was seeking my help to solve the problem.

Since I made it a policy not to see a woman all by herself, I suggested that she should come over to the clinic with her husband.

She never came.) 

However, most of the time, her female instinct would inhibit her desires, and may not demand sexual union from her spouse.

As a result, she would suffer in silence, being unable to fulfil her bodily requirements.

The obese husband in his mid-forties may completely stop having sexual relationships with his wife.

The worse thing in this combination happens in the later years of the marital life.

The thin wife would continue to have her hyper sex potentials and strong desires into her fifties.

It would end up being an unfortunate situation for such a wife.

If an OBESE FEMALE is married to a THIN MALE, the story would be somewhat different.

He will be hypersexed, and uninhibited.

Whereas she would not be interested in any of the sex-related activities.

He would approach her for frequent sex, and would keep on teasing her even in the daytime*.

(* A few years back, I read in a local newspaper that a wife filed a court case for a divorce from her husband, for he was hypersexed, and was ‘disturbing’ her ‘all the time’. 

I could now guess that the woman in this case must have been an OBESE person, and her husband, a thin one. This is a clear-cut example of a mismatch)

Being a wife, and being unable to refuse due to marital bondage, she would feel obliged to accommodate him.

However, she would only take his teasing and fondling activities as nuisance.

Since the thin persons are of explorative nature, he would probably give her often the much-adored orgasm, which will be labour-intensive and difficult.

However, early menopause owing to her obesity status, would make her worse than before in her sexual desires and involvements.

In such cases, the thin men, in their middle age, tend to go after, or long for other women to fulfill their sexual needs.

*********
Let us consider the case of an OBESE MAN marrying an OBESE woman.

Both of them will have like-minded desires.

In other words, both will be lazy, have lesser desires for sex, and will refrain from teasing and fondling.

They will have no problem of ‘suffering in silence’.

However, there is greater probability of both of them being sterile – they may not have any children.

When such persons get married, and when they come to me for consultation, I often advocate them to have children while they are still in their twenties, or as soon as possible, before the little fertility they have vanishes.

*******
A different situation occurs when a THIN MALE marries a THIN female.

Both will be hypersexed.

They keep ‘busy’ almost non-stop.

They do not care whether it is daytime or night.

They keep on teasing each other, and keep on fondling as well.

They have sex relations well into their sixties.

These people have the potential to have a larger number of children, for both of them will be very fertile until they are really old.

She would get her menopause only in her 60 or so.
Childbirth in her case will be mostly uncomplicated.

*******
On understanding the above, one should be more cautious in choosing a life partner, for the sex relationship is very vital in deciding the fate of marriages.

Does it mean that arranged marriage is better than a love marriage?

The following analysis will provide a meaningful answer to this question that is being argued all the time:

The most suitable mode for choosing a life partner:

I am in favour of love marriage.

Most of the people appear to misunderstand the true meaning of the word love.

An inexperienced young boy, in his early teens, keeps dreaming about girls, sex, and all related activities.

He sees a girl with an attractive body, face, and well-formed breasts, and almost instantly, he develops a strong desire to ‘posses’ her*.

He calls it love.

In this case, it is ‘love at first sight’.

(*  I was 14 in 1952, and was school-going in Taiping, Perak.

Then I was spending practically all the free time I had, in dreaming about a girl with ‘huge’ breasts, who lived in the next block.

I could now recollect that she must have been about 18 years of age, looked ugly, shabby and unclean.

She was uneducated, and was living in a dirty environment. Her parents were very poor.

Yet, I liked her immensely, and all my wild imaginations centred only around her well-developed breasts.

If I had an opportunity at that time, and if age and other factors did not prevent, I would have perhaps married her. (People would have said it “Love is Blind”).

Coming to think of it now, I could not even imagine of such a marriage with her.
Such strong fascinations appear to occur in young adults.

If you were my parents, would you have allowed such a marriage?

What would you call this?

An infatuation? 

At that time, I would not have accepted your rejection, for I was in ‘deep-love’ with her.

I would have chosen to ‘run away’ (elope) with her, or could have even committed suicide to prove my ‘divine love’ for her! 

How awful could that be?!)

******
Another man, with a strong desire to get married, keeps looking for a ’suitable’ girl.

He does not seem to get one for a long period.

All the girls he had met have been shunning him.

After a while, he meets one in a party.

She is not his ‘dream girl’.

However, he cannot afford to miss this opportunity.

So, he decides to go for her, and expresses to her his ‘love’.

She agrees, and they get married.

This too is called a ‘love marriage’.

********
A boy meets a girl, who is daughter of a rich man.

If he marries her, it would become a short-cut to raise his social standing through her father’s riches.

So, he woos her, wins her acceptance, and they get married.
This again is a love marriage.

******
A girl sees a man who is very handsome.
She falls in love with him, and they get married.

*****
Another girl ‘falls in love’ with a man who is a great singer.

His voice is very sweet, and that it makes her forget the entire world.

Hundreds of girls in any auditorium attending his music programme would scream at him expressing ‘love’ for him, with ‘flying kisses.’

Our girl here, somehow arranges to meet him, expresses her ‘love’, and gets married to him.

*******
Likewise, a great winner at all cricket games, a champion at world level in playing chess, an eloquent orator on platforms, a great story teller*, a movie star, or a girl crowned as Miss Universe are persons much attracted to people of the opposite sex.

Those who succeed in getting married to these people, happily give press interviews, and call theirs as ‘love marriage.’ 

In time to come, many of these end up in divorces.

(While working as a full-time broadcasting assistant in Radio Malaysia in the 1960’s, I used to narrate stories (my own creations) for children in Tamil language, under the name “Palani Mama”.
I had told 982 stories during a period of 23 years, and was extremely popular among the Indian listeners all over Malaysia (except that I am not recognised on par with some of the celebrities, such as Tan Sri P. Ramli).
 
I was not a handsome person to attract a girl to fall in love with me at first sight.

Further, I was already married (Sad! Sad!!).

Yet, I had numerous admirers expressing their ‘deep and divine’ love for me.

I could have had numerous wives, loving all of them ‘most sincerely’!?)

***********
I would never agree that these are love marriages.

A true love-marriage should never fail.

Two persons of the opposite sex somehow and somewhere meet for the first time.

With instantaneous attraction, or without it, they continue moving with each other for some time.

They get to know each other’s thinking, attitudes towards life, mannerisms, good and bad habits, likes and dislikes, choice of foods, their talents, their work and work ethics, their educational and financial backgrounds, and several other aspects of lifestyles.

They do this not with the intention of ‘choosing’ a life partner.

It just happens in the process of continued ‘friendship’.

Physical and external beauty does not play any important role here.
We know well that two clocks never run the same.

Likewise, no two humans can be identically perfect. In this case, both the girl and the young man get to know each other’s shortcomings and inadequacies.

They accept them, accommodate them, giving priority to most of the ‘good’ each one possesses.

In the process, a strong attraction develops at mental level between the two, and that is the ‘true love’.

They then get married.

Such marriages almost never get divorced.

Children born to them would make ideal and loving offspring*.

(*Children born to LOVELESS couples will not have any love for their FATHER, when they grow up).

If the wife thus married falls sick with an incurable disease almost immediately after marriage, the husband does not abandon the spouse, and does not go after another woman.

The same will be true for the wife as well. This is what I call true love*.

(*  In a small township called Tanjong Malim in Malaysia, there was a gentleman, school teacher by profession, who brought to me his cancer-stricken girl friend who was much closer to death, to see if I can help her in anyway.

All Oncologists who attended on her have given up, and she was expected to live only a week or two.

She was intensely suffering from the agony created by chemotherapy and radiations that were given to her earlier.

All I could do was to help her to eat food at ease, get rid of the pain, sleep well without tranquillisers, and prolong her life by another three months.

Her boyfriend – whom I would call a true lover, instantly married her while she was still in sickbed, amidst their relatives and close friends.

The girl subsequently died after three months.

The gentleman rang up to inform me of her peaceful death. He was very thankful.

I praised him for the devoted love he had for his girlfriend.
I am sure many of you must have encountered true love of this kind, although they tend to be rare events.)

A marriage between a female secretary and her male boss in an office, after working together for several years will well fit in to this category of true love.

Here, the boss could be double the age or even more than the secretary.

The age here does not count, for their love centres around the ‘hearts’ and ‘minds’ of these two partners.

Marriages between classmates are bound to be based on true love, for they take a few years to get to know each other well, before deciding to get married.

If this definition is properly understood, the so-called ‘love at first sight’ will have no value at all.

In real terms, it will form only marriages based on attractions, otherwise we call it ‘infatuation.’ 

The latter kind of marriages does not last long.

Once the attraction is lost, the artificially self-induced imagination called ‘love’ disappears, leaving behind frustrations and unsolvable differences of opinions.  

A loveless person will be selfish all the time.

One with true love will sacrifice limitlessly for the well-being of the partner.

Therefore, once the attraction over which the infatuation developed at the pre-marital stage disappears, the couple starts quarrelling with each other, find fault and blame the other party all the time, and even petty matters will be felt as unsolvable big mistakes.

This will naturally lead them towards separation through legal procedures.

An attractive body of even the Miss Universe will become unattractive once the person ages.

The riches may vanish due to some misfortune.

A great cricketer will have to retire one day.

A chess champion may lose his number one status to someone else better than him.

A great singer may get his/her voice lost in due course.

An actor/ actress  may get totally abandoned by the movie makers and the public, a while later.

Such changes are inevitable.

Unfortunately, the feeling of love, if based only on such attractions, will naturally disappear.

One can claim the following:

A couple may get married based on the external attractions.

Subsequently, they develop true love: 

If both persons are obese, they will make very good couple.

Problems, disparities, and disagreements will arise only when an obese person marries a thin person, as was indicated earlier.

When it comes to marriages, whether that be arranged one, or love at first sight, it would help substantially to look for identical physical features (i.e., the obesity status) in both persons.
 
If marriages bloom after long-tested friendship, no one need to evaluate the physical aspects of the body, for you will be surprised to note that they, almost certainly, tend to be of identical body frame.
 
If not, the enormous differences between them would not have brought them together in the first place in such a marriage.
 
Many a time, several of the Group Therapy participants have individually consulted me on the suitability of the potential spouse for an intended marriage.
 
The decisions, made based on the principles of Ecological Healing System, have not gone wrong.
 
People stand to benefit.
 
I have therefore been writing a book on the subject, and that will most probably be entitled “Marriage Compatibility.” 
 
This should become available for use by the people soon.
 
It will serve the people as some kind of horoscope-like guide and a reference material.
 
On its publication, with a wider readership, I expect a drastic reduction in the number of divorces at world-level.
 
Further, couples married after referring to the above guide tend to live harmoniously for longer periods, with loving children.
 
Whatever is said, however much of caution one exercises in choosing a life-partner, some amount of give-and-take, sacrifices and total trust among the married persons should become important parts of their day-to-day life.
 
Following the principles of Dale Carnegie, the great author of “How to win friends and influence people”, a spouse should be willing to sacrifice a great deal for the benefit of the other partner, and should also be willing to accept the shortcomings of the other person, rather than finding fault with each other.
 
Only then, marriages will work well. He suggests to count the blessings.
 
Lack of sexual desire in women after pregnancy
 
All women (and also all females among animals), once they become pregnant, lose their interest in having sex  
 
We know that Nature wants every female and male to be fertile, and be capable of reproduction.
 
In order to succeed, Nature creates a strong desire through ‘sex appeal’ with the use of ‘secondary sex characters’* for sexual union, and rewards both parties with adequate pleasure, in the form of orgasm.
 
(*The looks of a person, body odour, moustache, beard, hairy chest and limbs, coarse masculine voice, straight walks, etc. in men, and long scalp hair, eye-brows, eyes, nose, lips, well-developed breasts, curved waist, slender and long legs, sweet voice, etc. in females are called secondary sex characters that create sex appeal in members of the opposite sex.
 
Such appeals get enhanced by dresses and the way they are worn, the way men and women talk, and the language and literacy knowledge they exhibit, their talents in finearts, etc.
 
Make-up toiletries such as lipsticks, perfumes and the like are also designed to make women flash more of their sex appeals.)
 
When a woman has conceived to become pregnant (either through one or repeated copulations), there is no need for her to have any more intercourses.
 
Therefore, Nature does not give her any further desire to have continued sexual relations.
 
However, in the case of the male, the story is different.
 
Even if his mate has already become pregnant, he can continue to impregnate more females, for that is what Nature wants.
 
Such a process favours the process of evolution. Hence the disparity in the body physiology between male and female. 
 
It should be understood that among humans, a pregnant wife ‘agrees’* to have sex with her husband not of her own desire, but only to please her ‘restless’ and ‘desperate’ husband.
 
Most often, she does this out of her love and sacrificial tendency, or of fear at times.
 
(*In the case of animals, once pregnant, the female does not allow any further sex relations with any of the males.
 
All mating calls by the males, such as the ‘singing calls’ by the frogs immediately after a rain, will all go futile if there are no more ‘available’ females.
 
Identical phenomenon occurring in flowering plants becomes more conspicuous and better expressed when the petals wither immediately after the ovum – the egg – gets fertilised. 
 
The highly receptive and voluptuous stigma keeps alive during the penetration of one or more of the pollen grains. 
 
However, the moment one pollen impregnates the egg, the flower collapses and withers off.
 
This appears to be the ‘pattern’ among the entire ‘living things’)
 
The existence of the above phenomenon indicates one other matter of interest to males.
 
That is, as long as a woman has not become pregnant, she can be easily tempted or aroused for a sexual union, especially so during her ‘fertile’* period.

Under such conditions, man’s repulsive behaviour can be the only limiting factor that can inhibit her arousal.
 
(* When chances of becoming pregnant are greatest. The indication here is meant just to describe the phenomenon only. No one should take advantage of this kind of female weakness.)

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OK, friends,
 
I hope the above article will be useful to most of you.
 
If you find anything much unacceptable to you, kindly let me know.
You know that I am one who will always listen to people, and make changes if and when necessary.
 
I have made it a policy not to hurt anybody at all.
 
With best wishes until next,
Dr. Palani, Ph.D.
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